Gorgeous Wrinkles

One Alien boy met an alien girl and fell in love with her on the spot. The wrinkles in her forehead were the most wrinkly, most gorgeous wrinkles he has ever seen.

He only went out of the office for a moment to fetch some frozen yogurt and matches. She stood next to him on the yogurt line and looked at him with a pair of big soft eyes. Each eye as large as a pizza... Her eyes reminded him of the wonderful pizzas of Grandma Marina. What a charm - he felt as if his heart was melting - but he just could NOT utter that one word of love...

The following morning he saw her again - stepping lightly into the office next door. She is real close!! Maybe there's a chance... if only he could say the...

Moe interrupted his thoughts: "What's you staring at, dude?"

"Did you see that cool babe?", he asked Moe who was definitely the King of all Cool guys in the office.

"No way, dude!", said Moe, "and you know what - she's freakin' UGLY - can't you see that her wrinkles are going to the right, it is SO nerdy. Today's fashion is going to the left, when will you get THAT, dummy!" - so said Moe and started all over again - "What a repulsive bit--" said Moe just before he was hit by an angry blow to his chin.

Moe responded with a stylish (and extremely cool) slap of his tail, squashing our boy's trunk right in the middle. The Boss came running out, she fired them both so they went to Manpower (sorry: Alienpower) and came back five minutes later with new job applications. It will cost them two weeks of salary but this was NOT the problem. The insult was burning in our boy's heart, to hear such things about his true love. What does this Moe think of himself? Cool, shmool, so what if her wrinkles are going to the right. Besides, if you look from her side they are going to the left! What a dumb ass.

His trunk didn't hurt but it will take an awful long time for it to regain its former shape, and until then he must hide from her, thought our poor alien boy, picturing her walking away with some Cool Moe.

Noontime same day, back in line for frozen yogurt (and matches), here she comes again... Where can he hide, the heart was already down to his undies. He tried to hide his trunk with both hands and also with the third one and ran off to a side corridor.

Unfortunately the smashing beauty has already seen him. Something flew over him and then stopped. That thing also passed from his right and from his left.

"She went right through me!" thought the squashed one, totally astonished, "WOW - she's one of THOSE. I've been dreaming that... nah - with a squashed trunk and so many fears... I don't stand a freakin' chance."

The babe was standing right in front of him, watching him with eyes even bigger, shinier. Then she spoke and her voice was so squeaky and sweet, just like Grandpa Ephraim's spacemobile.

"Say hunk why are you runnin' away. If you want me just say that word."

The heart fell down to socks -- what did she say, that... she called me hunk... oh Mamma... what's going on?!

"I've seen you yesterday and you were kinda cute but this trunk, oooooooh... I can't... hey, get your hands down, show me what' you got there. Squashed so beautifully, Prince of Dreams, just like Cousin Ezick."

"I.. I... eh... you think I’m looking good??" said the boy and lowered his hands a little bit.

"What good, what' you mean good, you're the King of Cools, heart smasher, I am melting," said Alek (her name is Aleksandra Hertzigoba and she also got some complicated aristocratic title) ... "And you're so fragile and sensitive just like I love'em. Come sweetie, let's go to the roof and drink Martini with olives - or would you rather come down on a Frozen Falafel?"

They left the crowded line for yogurt (and matches) and went up to the roof cafe', their arms entwined. More arms than the police permits but who cares, a princess can do whatever she likes.

Until morning time our boy has gathered enough courage to kiss the princess and until the seventeenth next morning he gathered some more courage to utter that one word...

...and so they got married.

The little twin sisters are soooooooo sweet that it's absolutely adorable, wrinkles to the right just like Mommy's. Alek taught their son to squash the trunk nicey-nice and tie it with red ribbon just like Daddy's.

In the High Society parties you can hear whispers... glances of admiration.

There walks Moe in a snow white suit serving the drinks, says nothing, swallowed his tongue.

~Ozzie Freedom, September 1999~

A Small BIG Story

Once upon a time there was a girl who desperately wanted to become a dancer. But some "good souls" took the trouble to remind her, if she'd ever forget for a moment, that she had such terribly, horribly crooked legs...

"Sit quietly honey, be small and happy".

How - you good souls you - how could she ever be happy fulfilling your miniature dreams and burying hers, eh?!

But then one day the girl got up, wiped off her tears and invented an AWESOME dance. An aesthetic and exhilarating dance, if you just watched it you'd start dancing in your seat. One that only she could do.

And all the other dancers tried to imitate her but they couldn't... they just didn't have the right legs for the job, what can you do.

She went up on stage with a hesitating step and when she tried to get down they wouldn't let her. Flowers --- kisses --- thunderous applauses --- "More, more, please!!!"

She became famous. Very famous.

So many years have gone by, and the story rolled from mouth to ear so many times, that the original name of that girl has been forgotten from heart and tongue. But there's a star with her name. The name of that star is "The Dancer with the Crooked Legs".

If you go out on a clear night, you can see high above a twinkling star, winking at you like a mischievous eye.

It's her.

When you're feeling sad or desperate or if it seems like "you can't take it any longer" - look up to the stars and remember that dancer, the dancer who taught us a small BIG lesson.

~Ozzie Freedom, August 1999~